Permission Granted!

The word permission is defined as consent or authorization from someone to allow you to do something or for something to happen. Asking for permission is a necessary skill in certain circumstances and when used appropriately shows respect and builds safety. However, there is another type of permission seeking which can hinder creativity and self-efficacy; this is known as chronic permission seeking.

This kind of permission seeking is used to seek validation before making a decision or taking action, by relying on approval from someone other than yourself. It lures you to remain in a comfort zone, free from failure, and provides protection from letting someone down. The downside to chronic permission seeking is that you lose your ability to have healthy autonomy and personal authority to trust yourself by connecting to your own inner knowing and stepping into bold action.

Drawbacks to permission seeking

• Lowered self-esteem
• Difficulty hearing your own inner wisdom
• Disconnection from feeling your gut instinct
• Wasting time & energy that could be used elsewhere
• Giving away your power to someone else
• Creating a habit of being dependent on others
• Failing to take responsibility for your own life and decisions
• Staying stuck in your comfort zone
• Failing to tap into your fullest potential

Permission To Flip The Script

What if you flipped the script? What if you decided your perspective is as important as everyone else’s and adds value? What if you decided that you have within you the intelligence and the ability to speak and act on your own behalf? What if your contribution added greater value by utilizing your unique skills and experiences to generate ideas and solve problems? What if you were the authority and needed consent from only you? What if you gave yourself permission to no longer ask others for permission?

Permission To Practice

Identify your patterns - Reflect on the situations in which you tend to seek permission. Examine what triggers you to ask for approval, and your underlying intention. Try to catch yourself before you seek outside reassurance.

**Ask yourself first **- When you feel the urge to ask for permission, ask yourself, “Do I need someone else’s approval to make this decision?” “Do I need someone’s advice to make this decision?” Define if and why you might need either. Imagine what you'd do if you considered what you truly want without the influence of others. Then do it!

Practice small steps - Start by making decisions and taking action in low-stakes situations without asking for permission. This can help you build confidence and prepare you for more challenging decisions. Take action based on your intuition, passion, and feelings about something and see what happens. Celebrate what went well.

Treat it like an experiment - Taking this approach will help you take small risks and build your confidence to eliminate the need for permission. Step outside of your comfort zone and pursue creative and innovative ideas that can activate a spirit of freedom. Be OK if your idea doesn’t work out. Take risks and listen to your inner voice, and follow inclinations and insights that can lead to a fulfilling way of life. Make a list of all the things you are giving yourself permission to do and not do, and feel the freedom of making your own decisions.

Some other permissions to consider

• Stop judging yourself
• Believe in yourself
• Appreciate what you do well
• Embrace fear as your friend
• Think big and dare to go for it
• Feel good about who you are
• Accept help from others when needed
• Say what is on your mind
• Trust yourself to know best

Conclusion:

So much talent goes untapped, and so many dreams go unfulfilled because people are waiting to be given permission to do what they really want to do. The truth is, no one knows what you need and want better than you do. We are all here to give our best to the world, so stop asking for permission and just do it. Take a single step in the direction of trusting yourself to be free to be your best self and know that this one decision could make a huge difference in your day and in the world. Don’t wait for someone else to define your value; don’t wait to be chosen, choose yourself and reap the rewards of your choices. Permission Granted!