Rejection Creates Resilience

Rejection is something everyone experiences and is part of life. It comes in all shapes and sizes, from minor rejection to more serious and devastating rejection, all of which can cause us pain that we often try to avoid. A scientific study has compared the experience of rejection to that of physical pain and found that our brains process and activate both in the same region, eliciting similar feelings of pain.

The fear of rejection is one of the main reasons we fail to take action towards what we truly desire in life. We talk about it, we can imagine what it would look like, but when it comes to taking that first step, we don't. Rejection is so powerful that even the anticipation of potential rejection can make us forgo our willingness to take the risk and commit to action.

Consider A New Perspective

What if we could approach rejection differently, and be willing to see it from a new perspective? What if there was an upside to exposing our fear of rejection? What if every time we experienced rejection it meant we were pushing our limits, taking risks and leaving our comfort zone to get closer to our desires? What if embracing rejection was more beneficial than avoiding it? What if we were willing to take the risk and find out?

Using Rejection As A Tool For Growth

1. Acknowledge the rejection happened rather than denying it.
2. Reflect on and accept your feelings, including your thoughts and emotions.
3. Rejection does not define you, so don't make it personal.
4. Get the facts and don't create "worst case scenarios" for it.
5. Say “Thank you, next” and get right back out there and try again.
6. Identify one positive thing you learned that can help you grow from the rejection.

The Benefits Of Rejection

• Provides perspective
• Teaches patience
• Helps you handle adversity
• Leads to growth
• Opens the door for another opportunity
• Develops your resourcefulness
• Allows you to evaluate yourself & your decisions
• Creates opportunities for change
• Makes you stronger
• Helps with redirection
• Promotes motivation
• Builds resilience
• Confirms if you are truly committed to want you want

Action Items for Moving from Rejected to Resilient

1. Practice being rejected every day. The more you expose yourself to it, the less uncomfortable it becomes.
2. When rejection happens, use the “new approach” and see it from a new perspective by following the tools listed above.
3. After experiencing rejection, make a list of five qualities you see in yourself and that feel important to who you choose to be and how you choose to show up. This can help boost your self-esteem and reduce your emotional pain.
4. Write about your rejected feelings following an experience of rejection - it may be an effective way to process them more quickly.

The bottom line is that rejection can feel discouraging, but you always have a choice. You can either choose to remain where you are - safe yet unfulfilled - or recognize that rejection is part of the process of creating a life you desire. Get out there and get rejected, and know that each time it happens, you are one step closer to what you want and are becoming more resilient because of it.